1.
You are constantly running into things because of it
2.
Low rise jeans are COMPLETELY out of the question
3.
Sometimes it's difficult for you to walk
5.
And things get so tight you need help getting your pants off
6.
And if you get TOO excited you'll need extra help getting them off
7.
You are constantly playing hide a seek with it vs the world
8.
You can't wear super short shorts
9.
And you can never wear a Speedo
10.
Any kind of brief is a problem for you
11.
You have to look in the mirror a thousand times before you go for a jog so this doesn't happen
12.
You can NEVER sleep face down
13.
You think you had a fun night out with the guys and go home and notice a prominent outline of your man part has been posted to Facebook
14.
Which prompts you to get weird messages like this from random people on the internet
15.
This is a constantly issue for you
16.
Your friends begin to refer to you as Jon Hamm
17.
You avoid using showering at the gym because you don't want to freak people out because of your assets
18.
And finally, it has to be a secret!
Because you can't just go around publicly telling everyone about your gift!