1.
LET'S START SIMPLE. IGGY AZALEA? ILLUMINATI. JUST LOOK AT THAT EYE:
2.
YOU THINK ICE CREAM SANDWICHES ARE SAFE? SWEET, DELICIOUS ICED CREAM? THINK AGAIN:
3.
PYTHAGORAS IS GREEK FOR "ILLUMINATI":
4.
I BET YOU'RE SITTING THERE LOOKING AT THIS THINKING SOMETHING LIKE "I BET DUCKS ARE SAFE. DUCKS HAVE TO BE SAFE." WELL, THINK AGAIN, YA KNUCKLEHEAD:
5.
AS IF YOU NEEDED TO BE TOLD SOCKS WITH SANDALS WAS ILLUMINATI:
6.
HAM STACKED ON A PYRAMID SHAPE? WELL, WELL, WELL. WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE, HAM?
7.
BINDER TRAGEDIES? THAT'S THE ILLUMS:
8.
KANYE? KANYE?!?!?!?! KAN-YE?!?!?!?!!?!!?!??!?!??!?!??!?!?!?
9.
OBAMA? ILLUMINATI. ARE YOU EVEN SURPRISED?
10.
STILL NOT CONVINCED? LET'S GO DEEPER:
11.
ELEMENT NUMBER 13, ALUMINUM? YOU BET YOUR REAR END THAT'S ALUMINATY:
12.
OLIVE GARDEN BREADSTICKS? WHEN YOU'RE HERE, YOU'RE ILLUMINATI:
13.
WEIRD AL? MORE LIKE "WEIRD ALL Y'ALL HAVEN'T NOTICED HE'S ILLUMINATI YET":
14.
STILL NOT CONVINCED? LOOK AT THIS SECRET MESSAGE INSCRIBED ON THE US 25 CENT COIN:
15.
THE FAULT IN OUR STARS? YEAH, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THE FAULT IS. THEY ARE ILLUMINATI:
16.
YOUR FAVORITE DISNEY CHANNEL PROGRAMS? ILLUMINATI:
17.
HOW COULD HAVE JOHNNY BRAVO HAVE PREDICTED WINDOWS? I'LL TELL YOU HOW: ILLUMINATI:
18.
THE POWERS OF THE MODERN WORLD? ALL ILLUMINATI. JUST LOOK AT THIS DETAILED INFO-GRAPHIC:
19.
MORE LIKE "CORN ON THE NEW WORLD ORDER":
20.
WHAT ABOUT BEYONCE? COME ON, YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS ANSWER. JUST LOOK CLOSELY:
21.
PAINFULLY CUTE ANIMALS? DON'T TRUST 'EM:
22.
THAT ANNOYING THING THAT HAPPENS TO YOUR SHEET EVERY DAMN NIGHT? YOU ARE SLEEPING ON A BED OF ILLUMINATI:
23.
WILLOW PAPE? YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. ILLUMINATI:
24.
PEARS ARE LITERALLY IN THE TOP 10 MOST ILLUMINATI THINGS ON THIS GREEN EARTH. TRUST ME:
25.
THE SAUCE THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR PIZZA ROLLS EVERY. DAMN. TIME? GIVE THANKS TO THE 'NATI FOR THAT:
26.
NOTHING? THAT'S ILLUMINATI:
27.
THAT THING THAT HAPPENS TO YOUR CHARGER RIGHT BEFORE IT GOES? THAT'S ILLUMINATI:
28.
ICE CUBES ARRANGED CONVENIENTLY IN THE BOTTOM OF A GLASS OF IDENTIFIED LIQUID? WOW. ISN'T IT CLEAR?
29.
WAKE UP SHEEPLE. QUESTION EVERYTHING:
