Here's What You Need To Know About Porn Addiction

    Here are some answers you need to know.

    Alison Caporimo
    by Alison Caporimo

    BuzzFeed Staff

    People have lots of opinions on porn.

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    For some, it's a way to get inspired when giving yourself a hand, or an occasional activity you indulge in with your partner. But for others, it can be a crutch or a habit that can eclipse your IRL intimacy. So we consulted a few experts for some answers.

    So, is porn addiction actually a thing?

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    Though porn addiction was rejected from the DSM-5 (the guide for defining, diagnosing, and treating mental health illnesses) due to the fact that there isn't enough research to support it, scientists and therapists are split on their feelings about the topic.

    Some scientists think the term "addiction" doesn't really apply to porn consumption...

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    "The idea of addiction has become so overused in our society," David Ley, Ph.D., clinical psychologist in Albuquerque, New Mexico, tells BuzzFeed Life. According to the American Psychiatric Association, "addiction is a chronic brain disease that causes compulsive substance use despite harmful consequences." Since sex and masturbation aren't harmful for your health, linking them to addiction can get a little complicated.

    Also, there are a lot of other factors—like religion and sexual orientation—that can influence how someone feels about their porn use. "Bisexual people consume more porn than their heterosexual counterparts," Ley says. "But is it because they're addicted to porn? Or is it because they can't find orientation consistent to their sexuality in general media?" That being said, there can be negative implications to spending way too much time watching porn or having a lot of risky sex.

    But other experts think it's very real and can even destroy relationships.

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    Addiction is typically characterized by risky decisions that jeopardize someone's health, finances, relationships, and/or career. "Some of the initial signs of addiction can be intrusive thoughts about porn that show up at unwanted times, usually accompanied by a certain restlessness that feels like it won't go away until you look at porn and masturbate," Brandy Engler, Ph.D., author and clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, California, tells BuzzFeed Life. "At its most extreme, some people will watch porn and masturbate for 5 hours straight, barely taking breaks to eat and drink water." In the end, they find that they prefer porn to reality. "We call this pleasure deafness, or the idea that if you overstimulate yourself with porn, it might be harder to become stimulated by real interactions," says Engler.

    So what if you just like watching it occasionally by yourself or with a partner?

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    Obviously, not all porn-watching will destroy your life. "A healthy relationship with porn is one where you can take it or leave it," Engler says. "It doesn't haunt your mind all day and you don't feel edgy without it. You can function just fine sexually in real life. There are no negative consequences. There is no tolerance and withdrawal." If you feel good about your porn habits, you do you!

    We can't tell you if you have an issue with porn or not, but if you feel like you might, here are some tips:

    1. Stop watching it.

    If you feel controlled by your habits, give yourself a break and don't look at porn for a few weeks. See how it feels.

    2. Talk to a therapist.

    If you felt like taking a break from porn was too hard, or you're having trouble being intimate without it, talk to a sex therapist — ideally one who specializes in porn use and sex addiction. You can search for providers in your area at the American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) website.

    3. Think about why you're watching it.

    Does watching porn play out a fantasy that you would really love to try with a partner? Or have you had a hard time sleeping and watching porn helps you get your mind off of the busy day? "Watching porn can become a coping mechanism for other stressors in your life," Engler says. Talk to someone and get help.

    4. Talk to your partner, if you have one, about your concerns.

    "Since your significant other might feel like you're no longer sexually attracted to them, you should address that right away," Engler says. There are societal pressures for men to perform sexually and for women to be sexually appealing, which is why confusion in the bedroom can feel really hurtful. If you're going to have a big conversation, start it off with, "I'm nervous to talk to you about this, but I wanted to share...". This shifts the other person from a defensive place to a sympathetic place.