The Pros And Cons Of Dating Fictional Villains

Pros:

•Technically a Prince so you know he got $$$.

•Extremely charming smile/eyes/body/everything/so beautiful it hurts.

•Will gift you a large chunk of the universe when he conquers it.

Cons:

•Super into genocide.

•Whole planets, flaming. Their people in agony, screaming for a silent God.

•Inferiority complex (hot older brother, it's a whole thing).

Pros:

•Looks amaaaaazing shirtless.

•Would have zero problems with period sex, so if you're a period-haver there's that.

•Will one day inherit the North. #teamdreadfort

Cons:

•Will set you loose in a forest and track you down for sport (with his new girlfriend), allowing his hounds to tear your flesh from your bones.

•Creepy third wheel Reek is always around.

•Cut a guy's dick off once like, what?

Pros:

•FREE DRINKS AT HIS CLUB WOO.

•Dresses real nice, hair game unstoppable, definitely fresher than your old dude.

•Will totally do the thing with the ice cubes on your nipples if you're into it (he's into it).

Cons:

•Crime lord!!!!

•Extremely invasive mother situation.

•Stabs people and then sometimes kisses them?? On the head??

Pros:

•Oh my god, look at that face. Def looks like your next mistake.

•Cute, perky butt, or so I imagine.

•Jim'll fix it!

Cons:

•Literally responsible for pretty much every crime committed worldwide ever.

•Technically maybe shot himself in the mouth last year.

•He will burn the heart out of you.

Pros:

•You want to see his nipples? You got it. Nips out ALL DAY.

•Flamboyant space wardrobe included.

•Will be able to slip you some of that Forever Young People Juice on the side to keep you looking hot forever.

Cons:

•Only has two volume levels, best described as "whisper-screech" and "HOWLING ABOUT CAPITALISM."

•Killed his mom? Had sex with his mom? Both? Neither?

•Might only date you to turn you into a hover-chariot.

Pros:

•Could probably make you come just by reading the phone book.

•Straight up looks like somebody breathed life into a Greek statue.

•And he cooks!

Cons:

•People. The things he cooks are people.

Pros:

•Look. at. those. eyebrows.

•Wears cool bright-colored robes and is still hella secure with himself.

•Would totally get into a fight to the death over your hand in marriage.

Cons:

•Jealous prick tbh.

•Needs Daddy Kublai Khan's approval to do ANYTHING.

•Killed a not small amount of people over the course of his natural lifetime.

Pros:

•Intense psychosexual stare.

•Moms love him.

•Owns a cute motel you can escape to whenever you want.

Cons:

•You can never leave said cute motel.

•Can't really shower with him without getting chocolate syrup everywhere.

•Sometimes he becomes his dead parent (but nobody's perfect).

Pros:

•Handsome, wealthy.

•Has a killer apartment.

•Can get reservations for any restaurant at any time, kind of.

Cons:

•Murders people and hides them in the closet.

•No really, he will seduce you with wine and a bubble bath and then do horrible things to your body with a wire hanger and drop a chainsaw on you and nobody will care.

•He is simply ~not there~.

Pros:

•First of his Name, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, King of the Andals and of the First Men.

•There has never been a more perfect shade of blond, stylists can't bottle that shit.

•Can't think of too many more, to be honest.

Cons:

•Product of sibling incest (twincest!).

•Absolutely the worst person who ever fictionally lived.

•Just, ugh, just so bad. So bad. Joffrey. Ugh.

Pros:

•Good with his hands.

•Always on the lookout for that special someone.

•Very interested in finding out what makes you tick.

Cons:

•He's kind of a collector so if you tried to move in it's like ugh, throw some of this junk out already.

•Tracks down strangers, slices their heads open, and does some weird shit to their brains that no one really understands.

•Weird family.

Pros:

•Into some of that BDSM rubber suit freaky-deaky shit, ya feel me?

•Likes long walks on the beach.

•Unleash your inner goth and date a ghost, just date a goddamn ghost.

Cons:

•Clingy, always texting you to see who you're with. Can I live, Tate?

•Re-listing that rubber suit thing as a con just in case you don't actually feel me.

•Committed mass murder and then died.