It's high time we got HYPE about the goddamn moon.
I mean, really. Stop and think about how cool it is that there's a giant rock right outside of our orbit, in space, that we can just look up and see whenever we want?!
And at night the rock GLOWS! It glows with reflected sunlight that is somehow really flattering and makes everything look sexy.
The moon is the Earth's only natural satellite, which means that it is our planet's best friend. They've been hanging out together for 4.5 billion years!
Its surface feels like snow and smells like gunpowder, which is the coolest fricking combo of textures I can possibly fathom.
The moon also knows the importance of keeping its look fresh, so it goes through phases to keep all us Earth-dwelling nerds on our toes.
It also sometimes changes color because fuck your assumptions about what the moon should look like is why.
And as if the moon couldn't get any cooler, this giant shiny space-rock-Earth-friend technically CONTROLS THE OCEAN.
To reiterate: the ocean is a vast and unfeeling hellscape filled to the brim with terrors both seen and yet unseen by human eyes. And the moon is in charge of it.
The moon is even baller enough to occasionally eclipse the sun, giving all of us a sneak preview of the inevitable apocalypse.
Nothing on the surface of the Earth is cooler than the moon. Or hotter.
It's always there, ever constant, and basically is the most ride-or-die chick out there.
So take some time tonight to appreciate the goddamn moon. Without it, we might all die.
