1. You spend so much time on your sofa, that you are practically one entity.
2. The length you can hold out before using the loo is frankly inhuman.
3. You've started to dress like your sofa so much that your clothes actually camouflage you against the fabric.
4. You're Facebook friends with your remote.
5. You haven’t changed your viewing spot for three years and have perfected the lying-on-your-side, head-crooked-towards-the-telly position.
6. When you eventually do have to shift, you need three people to come round and help you find a new position.
7. The sofa has basically become a massive bag to store all of your things. You'll be able to find a tenner in change, four different forms of ID, and half of your dinner from Friday night.
8. You sleep on the sofa so often that the textured flower pattern imprinted on to your face is a permanent feature.
9. You’re surrounded by the last 10 meals you’ve eaten, but it's cool because they're now part of the decor.
10. Your cat sleeps on you more than it does its own bed.
11. You're used to having your phone's battery constantly below 20%, because there is no way you're going all the way upstairs. No siree.
12. If you drop the remote, you’ll just keep watching whatever’s on rather than reaching down to get it.
13. And you’re absolutely starving, but ordering takeaway would mean getting up and walking to the door, so, nah.
Let’s be honest: we’ve all been one with the sofa at some stage in our lives – no shame. Don’t feel guilty, get fit for fun instead.
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