23 Important Things That Happened During The "Game Of Thrones" Season 5 Premiere

It takes a bit of time to realise that this opening bit is a flashback. At first you assume that they are both new characters.

Cersei is told that she'll be queen "for a time", but that there will then be another queen who will "cast you down and take everything you hold dear".

Basically, the second queen is Margaery Tyrell, who married Cersei's son, Joffrey (RIP), last season. No wonder Cersei hates her. But then again it could be someone else entirely. The witch's prediction isn't specific.

We also learn that while the new king will go on to have 20 children, Cersei will only have three, alluding to Robert Baratheon's 20 bastard children and Cersei's three also-bastard incest children.

Jaime is convinced that enemies are plotting to tear apart the family, but Cersei is pretty adamant that Tyrion is the "real enemy", and asks whether Jaime set him free.

Verys keeps going on about how Westeros is now at risk from itself. Tyrion thinks, "Oh, FFS just wait a couple of minutes first," before helping himself to a drink.

He then vomits.

Tyrion with a beard > Tyrion without a beard.

Where? On the top of The Wall. How convenient.

On their way up The Wall, Jon is asked if he is still a virgin, to which he replies that he is not. Meanwhile, Gilly is concerned she will be sent away from Sam because she is a Wildling, and they don't have the best reputation right now.

"They were born on the wrong side of The Wall," Jon responds in regards to the Wildings. "Doesn't make them monsters."

Stannis tells Jon that they need more men to take over Winterfell, and to do this they need the Wildlings to join his army. And the Wildlings' leader, Mance Rayder, will have to kneel before him.

And they can live free in his lands? Does Jon Snow think that they will agree to his terms? Nooooope.

Remember, she lost Arya after fighting The Hound at the end of Season 4.

Margaery comes in and chats for a bit, mainly because she's hungry and she says Loras is keeping the king waiting. The king and her could wait for like FIVE minutes, y'know.

Loras is also quite relieved because with Tywin being totally 100% dead, he isn't forced to marry Cersei any more. He claims that Margaery is trapped because Cersei is still Margaery's mother-in-law. "Perhaps," Margaery muses. PLOTTING.

And who is that someone they are helping to take over the Iron Throne?

Daenerys Targaryen. Worlds are colliding!

They include Daario (who is butt-naked here). He says the fighting in the pits helped him become the man he is now.

Remember: They were locked in a cave after she was unable to protect them.

Jon thinks that Mance isn't agreeing because of pride, but Mance says, "If you can't understand why I won't enlist my people in a foreigner's war, there's no point explaining."