1. "I was just going about my business when this cat flap just leapt onto my face and wait, why are you laughing?"
2. "No I didn't get stuck in the sign. This is how people look for love now. God, Karen, get with it."
3. "Oh, someone went through the bin? What a savage. I guess who did it will forever be a mystery, though."
4. "This was intentional. It's called fashion, Sharon, look it up."
5. "I was ~putting on the ritz~ for you. But clearly you don't deserve my sophisticated sense of humour."
6. "I have a perfectly reasonable explanation, and I'm sure in time we'll look back on this and oh, how we will laugh."
7. "Avert your eyes, I don't want you to see me like this".
When u come home 2 find ur dogs head is stuck in the couch & he can't move
8. "I don't understand... Am I not meant to wear it like this?"
9. "I don't need your help. This is great. The way you guys sit on chairs is just so...pedestrian."
10. "I'm fine. Maybe the way I relax in my hammock is just a little unusual for your tastes."
11. "Of course I can get out if I want! I just haven't wanted to for the last 20 minutes."
12. "Breathtaking views. Probably just gonna stay here for a while, take them in and stuff. Yes, I could move, why do you keep asking?"
13. "Everyone good? Enjoying dinner? Just checking in. Gosh, just great to be a part of things, y'know?"
14. "I'm great! Nature is great! I'll make my own way home — you just head on."
15. "Please don't pity me. I love it here. Let me enjoy my new life, amongst the cushions."
16. "I have found my solace in this door purgatory. Leave me be."
17. "There's no need to stare, I know I look great."
18. "I guess this is my life now, and honestly I'm OK with it."
