1.
Your body doing this seems like a very real possibility.
2.
If only you deflated this quickly.
3.
Even your blankets don't fit.
4.
Motivation to stay at home in bed until it's all over.
5.
If it weren't for gravity you'd probably just float away up into the stars where nobody can hear your groans of anguish.
6.
For at least one day out of the month, Violet Beauregard from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is your spirit animal.
7.
Is losing this much blood even safe?!
8.
Seriously, how do we even live through this?
9.
Like, every organ has to be leaking for there to be this much blood.
10.
WHY WOULD A JUST GOD LET THIS HAPPEN?
11.
What would probably happen if you sneezed in the bathtub:
13.
If you actually drowned, it wouldn't surprise you.
14.
And you wouldn't be surprised if a cop took you to a precinct for questioning.
15.
When you have to do absolutely anything at all:
16.
If the surface you're on isn't moving, then neither are you.
17.
And if you have to move to get it, you don't really need it that bad.
18.
Anything that isn't a nap doesn't make much sense.
19.
And you're powerless against the urge.
20.
Sitting is exhausting.
21.
But being vertical is the most unappealing thing you can think of.
22.
Did someone leave a chainsaw running in there?
23.
Is there a gladiator leading an uprising in there?
24.
An army? Is there an entire army inside my body?
25.
Comfort, lol, what's that?
26.
It's like Satan is massaging your uterus and won't stop even though you've said, "No thanks," and he's like, "No it's OK, I don't mind."
28.
At some point you're convinced there's only one way out.
The endless orgy of hunger, sadness, and murderous impulses:
31.
Wait, I'm all right OH WAIT NO I'M SAD.
32.
I'M SAD AND ALSO HUNGRY.
33.
GGGGRRRRRAAAAWWRRLETGEGNOJLGN
34.
CAN'T DEAL WITH ANY OF THIS.
35.
WHY WON'T IT STOPPPPP?
Day 2, why you gotta be so rude?
