We asked the BuzzFeed Community for their orgy horror stories. Here are the hilarious and cringeworthy results.
1. The birthday surprise:
"It was my 38th birthday and my friends and I took a bartender home. After things got hot, the dude said, 'You know what I’m really into? Getting eaten out.' My friend Denise wasn’t having it, but I’d done it before and this guy was 100% grade-A beef, so I agreed. He was on his back, and Denise was sitting on his face, so I started working from his balls, to his taint, to his backdoor. As I went to town, he suddenly sharted in my mouth. I immediately sterilized my mouth with a bottle of vodka and left. I haven’t seen any of them since."
2. This heavenly campout:
"It was senior year of high school, and my friends and I had a 'campout' in one of our backyards. We set up a tent and ran extension cords from the house to power a radio and lamp. One thing led to another, and we all started fooling around. Halfway through, the music and lights suddenly cut off. I assumed my friend's mom tripped over the cord, so I yelled out, 'Shit! Everyone put your clothes on!' Her voice called out, 'I think it’s time for everyone to come inside.' The worst part? She was a minister."
3. The bloody mess:
"It was the first orgy for my friends and me, so we kept the lights off. It was really hot, and I remember thinking how incredibly wet I was, but it wasn’t until afterward when we turned on the lights that I realized I started my period midway through and it went EVERYWHERE. It looked like a scene from a horror film. Not only were we all covered in my period blood, but it had soaked into the mattress and stained the sheets. I was so embarrassed that I put on my clothes in silence and left."
4. The pre-wedding disaster:
"My husband and I were part of an orgy the night before our friends’ wedding. While everyone was having sex in the honeymoon suite, my drunk, female roommate cried on the couch, naked. It was kind of hard to fuck with that as background noise, so I tried to carry her naked body back to her room. Security stopped me because apparently carrying a drunk, naked girl through the hall of a hotel doesn’t look so good."
5. The good deed gone wrong:
"I dropped into my friend’s house to give her a birthday cake I spent all day making, and I saw my best friends having an orgy. I was so sad 'cause I was apparently the only one not invited. They said I could join in if I wanted, but you could tell no one really wanted me to, so I left them the cake and went to the cinema by myself instead."
6. The 911 emergency:
"I was at an orgy where a guy in his twenties had a heart attack. He took Viagra before the party, which was common, and then he had some poppers mid-coitus, which was also common. Apparently the mix of the two caused him to go into cardiac arrest. An ambulance was called, and they luckily saved him. Ruined the mood for everybody else though."
—Zachary Newman, Facebook
7. The unhappy host:
"There were five of us, each green in the act of group sex. Unfortunately there was an odd man out, and it happened to be the gentleman who hosted the party. You could tell he wasn't having any of it. All of the sudden, there was knock at the door. Five new people arrived, and all of the original guests’ clothes were in a bundle outside. The host had replaced us."
8. The mish-mashed party:
"I had sex with two women at an orgy because the guy I wanted to have sex with was already with someone else. I'm gay, so things definitely didn't go as planned for me."
—John, Facebook
9. The jealous girlfriend:
"A casual partner and I expressed interest in an orgy. We met with another couple and a girl we clicked with. After some wine, things got started. My partner nibbled on my neck, and the other two girls got hot and heavy. The one guy's girlfriend started going down on another girl, and he cheered her on. Then he made a comment that the other girl had a nice body. The girlfriend stopped cold, threw her glass of wine in the boyfriend’s face, and locked herself in the bathroom, crying. Whoops."
10. The lost and found:
"I lost my glasses in the middle of my first orgy. I was a bit overwhelmed, so I left the room. Then I had to wait, naked, for everyone to finish up so I could go back in and search for my glasses."
—Becky Lynn Smith, Facebook
11. The numbing surprise:
"Two words: numbing cream. One of the dudes at the sex party put desensitizing cream on his junk so he wouldn’t come too quickly. Turns out it also numbs the person's mouth if they blow them. It felt like I had just left the dentist's office."
12. The picture-perfect night:
"My boyfriend of three years broke up with me, and I had the opportunity to go to a sex party, so I brought a friend. While there, we ran into my ex. I ended up getting trained by my friend and three other guys. My ex yelled at them to go at me harder as he forced my head down on his dick. The next morning, as I left with a hangover, the hosts of the party showed me a picture they took. It was of my ex, me, and our friend, all cuddled naked on one of the beds. Yikes!"
13. The hungry guests:
"While at a sex party, a man challenged me that he could make me orgasm, even though it routinely takes me a long time. But he was committed, and I was trying. My eyes were closed, and I was sooooooo close, but all of a sudden I heard a noise. I opened my eyes, and this random dude was lying next to me, watching, while munching on pretzels."
14. The Jason Sandwich:
"I went to an 18-plus club and met three guys. We all went back to my place for drinks and then started fooling around. It started out fun for all of us, but we started to push the fourth guy away because we weren't as into him. He got really upset, jerked himself off, and interrupted the rest of us to make a “Jason Sandwich." I’m Jason."
15. And this threesome story that was too good to ignore:
"I had a threeway in high school. The girl who wasn't part of the couple got pregnant...with twins."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.