In the great world that we live in, we are blessed by many foods and flavors to enjoy. We get bread! Wine! Hamburgers! Cheetos! We even get multiple flavors of cheese, most of which are GODDAMN DELICIOUS.
But unfortunately for the citizens of the world, we are also cursed with one unfortunate abomination... cottage fucking cheese.
First of all, what the HELL even is cottage cheese? How is it made? Does someone just leave cheese out in the hot sun for five days and call it cottage cheese?
Second of all, WHY IS IT LUMPY? Who in the hell wants their CHEESE to be LUMPY????
Third of all, WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THE EXCESS WATER? Why is our cheese swimming in Lake Superior??
And don't even get us started on the "flavor." WHAT FLAVOR??? It tastes like nothing and sadness all at the same time.
OK, OK, we know it's supposed to be a "healthy option" or whatever, but AT WHAT COST??? Where do we draw the line??
Look, we know it's your life, and truly you can eat whatever you want to eat... except cottage cheese.
We're doing this for you. Cottage cheese is not good. It looks like white diarrhea and tastes like absolutely nothing. Please eat some yogurt instead.
No more of this cheese pretending to be cheese. Banish it forever.
