37 Childhood Things You'll Only Know If You're Over 30

    There was a time when you found playing with a Dustbuster exciting.

    1. Amassing a collection of scratch ‘n’ sniff stickers (which you never scratched for fear they'd lose their scent):

    2. These cool posters that hung in your school library and encouraged you to pick up a book:

    3. And this cool pin that encouraged you to read books — well, in order to get free Pizza Hut pizza:

    4. Mr. Owl from the Tootsie Pop commercial — who, in retrospect, was really a HUGE asshole:

    5. Owning a Hands Across America T-shirt, even though you didn't participate in it and probably had no idea what it was:

    6. Watching Small Wonder and being mesmerized by both how budget it looked (even for the time) and the fact that no one could tell that Vicki was a robot:

    7. Being freaked the fuck out by Max Headroom — basically 'cause you thought he was going to come out through the TV and grab you.

    8. Playing in one of these smelly things at your local McDonald's Playland:

    9. And getting your Mickey D's in Styrofoam containers:

    10. Walking by the Disney Store and being completely mesmerized because it looked like a neon Art Deco movie theatre:

    11. The horrible moment you discovered your parents' old '70s copy of The Joy of Sex — and repressing that moment into the deepest recesses of your memory:

    12. Looking around for dirt around the house just so you could clean it up with the Dustbuster:

    13. Making popcorn in one of these:

    14. Spooning your yummy Nestle Quik powder out of a metal tin:

    15. Drinking soda out of these plastic cups at Chuck E Cheese's and Pizza Hut:

    16. Making bath time better with Mr. Bubble:

    17. Getting a hankering for some cheese every time you saw a Time for Timer PSA:

    18. Burning the back of your legs whenever you went down a metal slide on a hot day:

    19. Watching Mr. Belvedere and singing along to its catchy AF theme song:

    20. Getting a craving for pizza while playing Pizza Party:

    21. And feeling like Indiana Jones when playing Fireball Island:

    22. Getting excited whenever the Sears Wish Book was delivered — of course you then immediately circled all the toys you wanted to get:

    23. Stuffing your face with these delicious cheezy ~delicacies~:

    24. Annoying your parents by playing one of these beep-machines in the car:

    25. The little thrill you got whenever the F.H.E. logo appeared before your favorite video:

    26. Trying to play with a Power Pad...which resulted in you having to just use your hands to pound the buttons:

    27. Having Fisher-Price Little People that looked like this:

    28. Being more than a little creeped out by the nightmare-inducing McDonald's mascot Mac Tonight:

    29. Watching your Casey sing along to your Michael Jackson, Madonna, or Bon Jovi tapes:

    30. Being more excited by the noises the machine made than the actual prize you got from a lucky egg machine:

    31. Getting a character cake for your birthday...which was made up of 90% frosting:

    32. Starting out your day with one of these ~nutritious~ breakfasts before heading out to school:

    33. Knowing NEVER to touch a stereo system that was in a glass cabinet:

    34. Learning important life lessons from Sweet Pickles:

    35. Putting on the radio just so you could watch a flower dance along to the music:

    36. Barely being able to see or move while wearing a plastic Halloween costume:

    37. And finally, the exuberant feeling you got when you saw the brown roof and colorful paneling of a Toys "R" Us: