1. The first thing your brain does every morning is run through everything bad that has ever happened or could ever happen to you and your loved ones.
when you're trying to get on with your morning but you remember all your terrible life decisions at once:
2. You spend a good five minutes wondering if you really need a job at all.
3. And then you start thinking about when you will next get to sleep.
4. Because nothing is as soft and welcoming as your bed as soon as you have to get out of it.
My bed is suddenly so much more comfortable when I hear my alarm ring at 6 A.M.
5. This is what it feels like when you check your phone before you're fully awake.
6. Compared to night you, morning you gives zero fucks about your health and wellbeing.
7. You have a love/hate relationship with the snooze button.
8. Commuting while half asleep is a daily struggle.
Please move right down inside the carraiges. Use up space. Adopt corresponding tesselating shapes. Enmesh. Become one heaving commute unit.
9. Except for those beautiful times when you can blame your lateness on a bad commute, instead of your inability to get out of bed.
Sleeping extra then blaming it on the Underground strike even though you take Overground #TubeStrike
10. Making small talk with your coworkers before noon is a struggle.
11. And god forbid someone has scheduled a meeting at the start of your work day.
12. On the rare occasion you make it to work at least five minutes before you're due to start, you reward yourself with coffee.
13. And when you are occasionally #blessed with a later start time, you become a whole other person.
14. If you live with a morning person, you have considered murdering them at least one time.
15. You've spent a considerable amount of time wondering why society is like this.
16. When you start thinking about the fact that you'll have to live like this until you retire, you have to stop yourself, because it's just too sad.
17. You have forgotten what it feels like to be well rested during the day.
That was either really funny or I'm just to sleep deprived. I can't tell the difference anymore.
18. You start reaching peak alertness just as you really need to go to bed.
me when I can't sleep at night
19. So when you try to get an early night your brain doesn't let you.
Don't look at phone in bed it messes up circadian rhythms. Make sure you lie in the dark thinking about everything you've ever done wrong.
20. Sometimes you wonder what you could achieve if your ideal sleep schedule matched up with what society demands of you.
21. But most of the time, you're just glad to survive each day.
22. And make it to the weekend, when you can get some sweet, uninterrupted, blissful, actual sleep.
