25 High School Mascots That'll Make You Say "Wait, What?"

Like Edward Scissorhands, but with beaters as feet and a thousand times more horrifying.

I'm all set, thanks.

Um?

Richland is home to the Hanford nuclear site, which supplied plutonium for the nuclear bomb detonated over Nagasaki, hence why their symbol is a MUSHROOM CLOUD and why student chants have included "Nuke 'em 'til they glow!" and "Proud of the cloud!"

Get 👏 rid 👏 of 👏 this 👏

Hoopeston is the "sweet corn capital of the world," and before modern machinery, corn had to be jerked off the stalk.

*giggles uncontrollably* 🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽

There are a couple of stories about where this, uh, interesting nickname came from, but it officially stuck around 1940, when something totally normal and not-at-all-disturbing happened: A student covered himself and his horse in bedsheets and galloped onto the football field to deliver the game ball.

JESUS.

Whose dad came up with this??

Supposedly, the name became official when the boys’ basketball coach yelled at his team for their lack of hustle and called them a bunch of hoboes. 😕

Geese are honestly pretty terrifying, so.

Really wishing they had gone with the Wieners.

It's a no from me.

Did it just get hot in here?

This is probably supposed to be menacing, but it's JUST SO CUTE.

This super-humble mascot dates to the late 1800s, when Williamsport had more millionaires per capita than any other city thanks to its successful lumber industry. It also refers to a historical section of the city called "Millionaires' Row."

Back in the day, calling someone a "nimrod" wouldn't get you punched in the face; it was a nickname given to a "king hunter" — a person with the ability to track large prey and slay it singlehandedly.

This is literally just "gazebo" spelled backwards...named after a structure on the school's campus. Mmkay.

Apparently, in the 1940s, a Chicago sportswriter noted that the boys' basketball team looked so shabby in their tattered uniforms that they looked like orphans. Oh, and don't worry, the girls' teams are called the "Annies."

I have SO much pretzel pride, tbh.

I don't even know where to begin. 🍆

Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Ridgefield was a hotbed for potatoes and prunes in the early 1900s, and the town decided on the former for its school mascot. Better than the Prunes, I guess?

Sure.

What is happening in Illinois? This one dates to 1932, when the basketball coach chose to honor a local shoemaker and Teutopolis's German* heritage.

*The Dutch made wooden shoes, so maybe they just confused that for Deutsch (German)? 🤔

According to the school's website, a "zizzer" is an "expert in any activity." Whatever you say.