Tired of supporting a celebrity who is problematic as hell and shows you no love in return? WELL, HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU!!!
I've got an up-and-coming queen who stays in her lane, minds her business, and is destined for greatness. I'm here to tell you that you need to activate your stan cards IMMEDIATELY.
I'm talking of course about Fiona the hippo, and as you can tell by the look on her face, she has the diva attitude on LOCK already.
Let's catch everyone up to speed: Fiona is a little over 6 months old, and she's a resident of the Cincinnati Zoo. I'm ALSO going to spill the tea on why you need to be stanning Miss Fiona.
Let's begin, shall we?!
Fiona was born six weeks premature, but like any true diva, she's overcome her adversity and THEN some.
Fiona is obviously a sassy queen...
...who is absolutely ADORABLE from ALL angles.
Like, how could you possibly say no to this?
Fiona tipped the scales at 404 lbs today!!!! Grow baby grow! Her Mom, Bibi, weighs around 3,000 lbs!
Of course, Miss Fiona is a multitalented queen. She enjoys time playing in her pool...
Fiona and Bibi having fun in their indoor pool. The hose makes an excellent enrichment activity for many of our ani… https://t.co/GY3tOXVoDj
...taking stunning selfies...
Fiona selfie! DYK: A changing climate will impact a hippo’s habitat primarily through drought. #ArcticSeaIceDay
...and just not giving a fuck about anything in general.
Monday's are hard. #FionaFix
Even the fish love her!
Even the fish love Fiona! #FionaFix
She also just looks frickin' STUNNING...
Fiona Stats: She is 2ft tall at her shoulder, she's 55" from nose to tail, her tail is 9" long & she weighs 356lbs… https://t.co/TNcq1Szt7i
...and unsurprisingly, she has fans across the globe...
We want to know how far the Fiona phenomenon extends. If you're a Fiona Fan from outside Ohio, let us know the stat… https://t.co/enWIReK7fE
Plus, like any true celebrity, she has an amazing nickname with her partner in crime (her mom, Bibi): BIFI!!!
Celebrity duo Bibi & Fiona r becoming affectionately known as BiFi (beefy). We think it works in multiple ways.
Of course, Fiona already has a legion of loyal fans...
...who are TOTALLY ride-or-die for the hippo.
But it's never too late to join! WE NEED YOU!
Someone: Fiona is just a hippo Me: FIONA IS A GODESS THAT'S LIVING IN A WORLD THAT YOU DEGENERATE CARBON SACKS TRA… https://t.co/OFhXliURsa
Basically, this is all of us right now.
