21 Suggestions Twentysomethings Never Asked For

The advice: Young people should have the "courage" to get married upon finding their one true love in this world, and obviously contribute to the $72 billion a year wedding industry. (It's also good for the economy, guys!) After all, this is the marker by which you're supposed to assess your own happiness and success: conventional, traditional, monogamous marriage.

Counterpoint: What adults don't like to divulge: the quicker you find "the one," the longer you'll spend negotiating over family holiday schedules, gross personal hygiene habits, and who's in charge of dinner that night.

The advice: In April, Julia Shaw wrote an essay for Slate about how happy she was that she decided to get hitched at 23-years-old. She then encouraged others to follow in her footsteps, because apparently people "become your soul mate because you marry them," and not the other way around. Shaw asked, "What are the rest of you waiting for?"

Counterpoint: The only proper response is: what aren't we waiting for?

The advice: Susan Patton wants young women to find their husbands in college — at least, if you’re an Ivy League student — because apparently your years spent on campus are the peak of when you’ll be able to find the best quality dude. (Related: Susan Patton probably hasn’t spent much time at a present day frat party or campus bar.)

Counterpoint: Her letter to the editor, published in The Daily Princetonian earned her national press and a book deal, but college women everywhere are still wondering why they're supposed to focus on finding a husband in college instead of worrying about... you know... their own lives.

The advice: In June, Ezra Klein said, "I really try not to get my news from Twitter, which has a reputation as a place where people go and find lots of great news. I find it a place you go to find, I guess, your barbecued potato chips."

Counterpoint: It's a good thing organizers in the Arab Spring, the Occupy movement, and people who use Twitter trending topics to learn about the news everyday don't think of the social network as a "place to find barbecued potato chips."

The advice: Back in 2007, Thomas Friedman renamed millennials “Generation Q” for quiet. The New York Times also called us lazy (more than once). Psychologist Jean Twenge wrote a whole book about us called "Generation Me." Apparently we're not involved enough — we're not out in the streets protesting, we don't care about politics, and our general empathy for others is lacking.

Counterpoint: That all makes complete sense... except for the fact that the American youth voted President Obama into office (twice), activism takes place on and offline everyday, and millennials give a shit about a lot of things. Unapologetically, might I add.

The advice: Last January, Taylor Swift was at the expense of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s famous Golden Globes joke. After ending her very public relationship with Harry Styles, the comedians quipped that T-Swift should stay away from Michael J. Fox’s son. Fey specifically said, "She needs some me time to learn about herself."

Counterpoint: It seems like people either want you to have just the right amount of alone time before jumping into a serious relationship, or they want you to be married off. We can't win! In reality, though, it's just different for everyone.

The advice: Some people think women are partially responsible for their own sexual assaults because they drink too much, and in order to “protect themselves” from rape they should simply consume less alcohol. Here’s looking at you, Emily Yoffe (and misguided college students who may not realize their Google search carries over into adulthood).

Counterpoint: Let's worry about teaching rapists not to rape.

The advice: Breaking news: Keeping Up With the Kardashians and The Jersey Shore aren't exactly accurate depictions of reality. But since 20-somethings aren't capable of realizing that on their own, we're under the false impression that our lives can (and should) play out like reality TV programming.

Counterpoint: Mindless television shows are purely a form of entertainment that serve as a break from our otherwise busy, stressful, and hectic lives.

The advice: Gen-Y takes countless selfies and uploads them onto each and every social media platform we have access to because we’re full of ourselves, says people who don’t know how to use smartphones, let alone use Instagram. According to The Atlantic, a recent study of 37,000 college students showed that narcissistic personality traits have increased at the same rate as obesity since 1980.

Counterpoint: Selfies are fun, and sometimes they're art. People have been making self-portraits for centuries, we just have new tools.

The advice: Liberal arts majors don’t make any money, and the humanities are especially becoming obsolete. According to everyone else who already graduated college years ago and majored in exactly what they wanted, you don’t learn real-life, applicable skills in literature and social science courses in 2013. Pundits want you to forget about taking out tens of thousands of dollars in student loans unless you’re going to study something in STEM fields. Or business.

Counterpoint: College can be for things other than getting the most money, like learning and refining your skills at the things you love.

The advice: A new Gallup poll says 58 percent of Americans think 25-years-old is the ideal age for women to have their first baby, and the majority of those surveyed think men should start having kids when they're 27. You hear that, millennials? Have babies, and have 'em young! It's only right, since that's what everyone else wants for you.

Counterpoint: If you're not sure if you want to have babies, don't have them now. And if you want to have them when you're past your "biological prime," there's always adoption.

The advice: More often than not, Gen-Y is depicted as a lazy and dependent generation who needs to “work harder.” In May, Joel Stein wrote in Time Magazine, "They have less civic engagement and lower political participation than any previous group. This is a generation that would have made Walt Whitman wonder if maybe they should try singing a song of someone else," he wrote. "What millennials are most famous for besides narcissism is its effect: entitlement."

Counterpoint: Kay.

The advice: Elizabeth Wurtzel thinks today's 21-year-olds should be more like The Beatles and Led Zeppelin instead of "Generation Z-for-Zero." Wurtzel wants the rest of us to join Lena Dunham and her "inexcusable thighs" (Wurtzel's words, not mine) in doing what we're meant to do: "rock the planet senseless."

Counterpoint: I'll let you know after we figure out what she's even talking about.

The advice: A PSA to unemployed millennials from our elders: "Talk to everyone you can about the field you want to go into. Seek out accomplished professionals, make sure they know who you are, and stay in touch with them. Find mentors in college, at internships, and send out a standard 'Hey, how are you?' email every once in a while."

Counterpoint: Networking is fine, but it's important to cultivate authentic, genuine relationships with other working professionals you admire or relate to, regardless of what specific favors they can pull for you. People can see fakeness for what it really is, so it's better for your career (and life) if you keep it real.

The advice: If millennials aren't being told they're apathetic and don't care enough, they're having this message drilled into their psyches: "Save the world." From middle school community service clubs to college courses and all the way into non-profit sector, Gen-Y has been made to feel like it's their responsibility to "change the world" in a very grandiose, overarching sense.

Counterpoint: Not only is this a problematic lesson to thrust upon an entire generation (making other people's problems our own is a pretty "American" thing to do), but it's also unfair. Instead of piling on the pressure to make the world a better place, why don't we start with making ourselves into better people?