1. Why getting invited to someone's improv show is not actually meant to be a punishment.
2. Why anyone would willingly go to Navy Pier.
3. Why ANYONE would drive a car that doesn't have salt and snow chains ready in the trunk.
4. Why there is any good reason to stop referring to this as Marshall Fields.
5. Why your neighborhood is way better than their neighborhood.
6. Why paying that much for a parking meter makes any god damn sense.
7. Why people from the suburbs insist that they are actually from Chicago.
8. That Pittsburgh was in ANY way a superior Gotham City to Chicago.
9. Why Montrose beach is not just as beautiful as any beach attached to an ocean.
10. Why anyone would want to go anywhere but the Boystown IHOP at 4 a.m.
11. People who hate ranch dressing, in general.
12. What the bean is actually supposed to mean.
13. Why cars do not come standard with heated seats.
14. Why anyone would turn off the Bears/Packers game.
15. Why people blindly hate on the south side.
16. Why knowing how to pull your car out of a fishtail isn't mandatory on every driving test.
17. How anyone has a tailgate without sausage.
18. Why anyone would put a dibs chair on a space they did not dig out themselves.
19. Why anyone would leave their house during fall without an umbrella.
20. Why “October” is supposed to be fall, when it’s really either summer or winter.
21. Why anyone would turn up their nose at fried cheese.
22. Why anyone would call highways by their numbers instead of their names.
23. Why everyone has that one friend who hates outdoor parties, because mosquitos maul them.
24. How anyone is able to eat Chicago deep dish pizza more than once a month.
25. Why the Sears Tower couldn't just keep on being the Sears Tower.
26. Just what exactly is so great about NYC.
