23 Things That Inevitably Happen When You Start Getting In Shape

You can say "I didn't know my own strength" with sincere incredulity.

Normally, you'd be holding onto the banister for dear life while dry heaving after staircase 1.

Your new level of energy knows no bounds.

For better or for worse, depending on how much money is in your bank account.

MMMM, nothing like a giant bowl of crisp, delicious roughage.

Metabolism, yo.

The people who once shamed you for avoiding the fried chicken at the Super Bowl party and heading to the gym instead of happy hour are now asking you for advice on how to live their lives.

You fall into bed and pass out into a violent puff of exhaustion. No more perusing random articles about occult murders on Wikipedia at 4 a.m.

You are a Master of Vascular.

If you eat something disagreeable or get a little less sleep than usual, your body knows what's up because it is no longer a den of garbage.

The best things in life make you sweaty.

And if you don't keep on top of it, you risk everything you own smelling like ass sweat.

All that mucilage sloshing around in your brain has been miraculously siphoned out and replaced with the lyrical sound of your own thoughts.

You've never known true catharsis until now.

Ohhhhhhh god. Guess you're NOT going to the gym today.

Poke. Poke poke.

You revel in lactic acid.

Coffee who?

Going outside and really breathing it all in gives you a renewed sense of self, now that you're hyperaware of the air flowing through your body.

Now that you actually work out your lungs, it no longer feels good to fill them with toxic smoke.

Regularly working up a sweat has really sucked your pores clean.

The old you would never have believed you, but working out is FUN now that all your hard work has paid off.

And that's all the motivation that you need.