1.
Herman Melville’s “Moby Dick” has perhaps the most memorable opening line in all of Western literature: “I hope you motherfuckers like reading about whales”
2.
‘have you no compassion on my poor nerves?!’
3.
DEVIL: You shall stay forever young, but this picture of you will bear the marks of your sin! DORIAN: Can I hide it? DEVIL: Well, yes, but— DORIAN: And there are no other consequences? DEVIL: This… This picture will become so foul! DORIAN: Again, probably I’ll hide the picture.
4.
Romeo: check out this cat video Juliet: omg dead 😂 Juliet: hello Juliet: romeo Juliet: i didn't mean literally dead Juliet: romeo
5.
Lord Byron *definitely* would be a DM-slider. Coleridge, a mentions pest. Wordsworth RTs more and more conservative memes as he ages. Keats has a good tumblr. Blake is offline.
6.
Dante followed Virgil down, past killers and adulterers. "And here," Virgil said "are the makers of websites that automatically play audio."
7.
God bless Jane Austen for naming the prettiest, kindest, most generous, most patient character in Pride and Prejudice after herself that is self-love and I am on board
8.
ME, SOBBING: Please, Emily, you can't give all your 100 characters the same 4 names EMILY BRONTE: *points* That's Earnshaw Linton. *points* That's Cathy Heathcliff. *points* Heathcliff Linton. *points* Cathy Cathy. *points* Earnshaw Cathy Jr. *pause* And they're all GHOSTS.
9.
In case you were wondering how tall emily brontë was compared to an emperor penguin
10.
boys always assume that sending nudes is what grabs a gal's attention, when what really grabs their attention is the patronage of the esteemed lady Catherine deBourgh.
11.
Just realized that since we read serial nineteenth-century novels only as whole books, we are basically bingewatching the nineteenth century.
12.
PUBLISHER: So it’s got vampires? BRAM STOKER: Yes. PUBLISHER: Sex? BRAM STOKER: Yes. PUBLISHER: A lunatic asylum? BRAM STOKER: Yes. PUBLISHER: It needs something more. BRAM STOKER: [scratches head] A… a cowboy? PUBLISHER: Fucking sold.
13.
Amazing entry from Pepys’ diary, 23 April 1667: ‘Just gave my name in ye Coffee Shoppe as “No Poperie”. When ye (presbyterian) Wench screamed my name repeatedly, ye whole room erupted in boisterous huzzahs. Result. Try it. And so to bed.’ https://t.co/pPA6EsJRnJ
14.
When someone talks shit about Edgar Allen Poe
15.
[sees girl reading The Catcher in the Rye] "Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] catches all that frickin rye."
16.
I'm gonna write a book about the difficulties of watching Pride and Prejudice dubbed into French. It will be called L'Austen Translation
17.
My favorite part of the book Moby Dick is where it says "Dick" right there on the cover.
18.
Before you turn 18 you have to choose exactly one of these books to read and then never stop talking about for the rest of your life: -Harry Potter -The Great Gatsby -Animal Farm -The Communist Manifesto -1984 -The Bible