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OK, we don't have time for introductions here. Robert Pattinson just did a quarantine interview with GQ and somehow nearly burned down his kitchen in the process? It's a wild ride, so strap yourselves in!
Like pretty much all of us right now, Rob is currently on lockdown, shacked up with his girlfriend in London. But, since production of The Batman has been halted due to the coronavirus pandemic, he doesn't have much to do.
However, some good news for RPatz — on Tuesday, GQ revealed that he was their latest cover star! But, because of, you know, everything happening right now, the photo shoot couldn't be done properly, leaving Rob to take the pictures himself. I think you'll agree it's all a big mood.
Robert Pattinson on his isolation: https://t.co/EPzPWk2vTH
Now, the interview itself is quite something. It bounces all over the place as Rob talks about everything from his latest movies to trying to start a new pasta company.
Yes, you heard me right — Robert Pattinson wants to start his own pasta company. This was apparently inspired by the thought of pasta having "the same kind of fast-food credentials as burgers and pizzas" and figuring out how to "make a pasta which you can hold in your hand".
And that's when the cooking starts...
After a trip to the shop, Rob apparently came back with the following ingredients, which should already have set alarm bells ringing: cornflakes (they didn't have breadcrumbs so this is the next best thing apparently), a lighter, presliced cheese, and sauce (any sauce will do).
"So obviously, first things first, you gotta microwave the pasta," Rob explained, while I started to get really uncomfortable about the prospect of where this was going.
"I found after a lot of experimentation that you really need to congeal everything in an enormous amount of sugar and cheese," he continued, while layering sugar and cheese on a baking tray lined with aluminium foil. "It really needs a sugar crust."
"I mean, there's absolutely no chance this is gonna work. Absolutely none," Rob says after burning himself with the bowl of pasta from the microwave.
Using the lighter, he then tries to burn the initials of his future pasta company into a bun, accidentally setting one of his gloves on fire in the process. It's all going so well!
And then (more) disaster strikes. Wrapping the tray in foil, Rob puts the dish in what he THINKS is an oven. Alas, it is actually a microwave, which you should already know means bad news.
Of course, a lightning bolt "erupts from the oven/microwave" and Rob ducks for cover as the whole thing "throws off stray flickers of light and sound".
When things have finally calmed down (i.e., the microwave has all but exploded), Robert simply stands up and says: "Yeah, I think I have to leave that alone." I think that's wise!
So there's the story of how Robert Pattinson nearly burned down his kitchen while cooking an absolutely batshit dish made from microwaved pasta.
