After reading the headline, you're probably already cringing, so let's just get right into it.
All the background you need to know is that there's a woman who goes by u/Blain-Ad-5996 on Reddit – but we'll call her Blain – and she wrote into the Am I the Asshole subreddit to lament about her American boyfriend, Rhett.
While Blain never explains where this all took place, she does say that Rhett is living abroad in her home country, and the two live in different towns. Usually, dinner dates take place in her town but, on this occasion, they decided to eat at a place near Rhett instead.
Alright, here we go: "Rhett was already there when I arrived to the diner," Blain explained. "We talked some, checked the menu, then, when it was time to order, he pulled a small bell out of his jacket pocket, lifted it up, and then started shaking it."
"I demanded him to stop but he said he wouldn't until someone came and took our order," she continued. "I threatened to leave the place and cancel dinner if he wouldn't and he kept doing it. Someone came, but I'd already gotten up, took my purse, and started making my way out."
"I asked if it was acceptable to do this in America and he said, 'Yes because it's a free country and people there usually don't give a shit,' but I said it's inappropriate and embarrassing here," she said. "He said I was being too sensitive and overreacted over nothing. He insisted we go back inside but I refused."
"We ended up leaving, he kept on about how I ruined dinner by cancelling it and offending him by acting like his behavior is shameful," she concluded. "I said I had a right to give an opinion on what he's done, but he basically told me to get off my high horse and stop calling his 'genius' idea embarrassing."
Oh girl. As someone who has lived in the US their whole life, I can tell you right now that this man just lied to your face. Ringing a bell at waiters is NOT acceptable, and other Americans in the thread quickly jumped in to tell her such:
"American here... That's incredibly rude, and beyond inappropriate. Your boyfriend is a rude, entitled asshole who would be thrown out of most restaurants in the US for that sort of behavior."
"I've literally never seen someone ring a bell like this at a restaurant and I've lived in the US my entire life."
"I have lived all over the US and I have never once seen, heard, or heard of someone using a bell to summon the waitstaff. It's absolutely not socially acceptable and if he's done it there, then he absolutely annoyed and embarrassed everyone around him."
And even if his behavior was the norm in America — which, again, IT IS NOT — then he should still respect the customs of whatever country he is visiting:
"If it is acceptable in his rude ass culture in a pocket of America, he should still respect the norms of the country he is in."
Commenters also reflected on what his behavior could mean for their future, believing that people who mistreat wait staff are usually horrible partners:
"You're only four months in, get out. The way one treats wait staff is a good indicator of how he'll possibly treat you one day. HE ruined dinner with his shameful behavior."
"He's got zero respect for the wait staff who are trying to give service to more than one table. He acts as if the staff are less than human. Treat service staff with respect, be polite. Jeez. Big red flag."
And they said that his sulking over not getting to ring his bell is a major red flag:
"He's completely unwilling to accept that he might be wrong. When told his behavior is unacceptable, he refuses to consider anyone else's perspective but his own. He's moved countries for Gods sake, even if a bell WAS ok in his home country (or hometown), he needs to adjust to a new culture and listen to the locals! Big red flag."
"The sulking for days behavior is a serious Big Red Flag."
"He’s a 31-year-old toddler and it’s time for you to walk away from him."